Under The Counter

Jack Daniels dispenser
1397 views

All I want for Christmas is…

The auld yin has been known to very occasionally deviate from the spiritual path that is ‘Grouse and...

The Lynx effect hits the road

If you’ve ever seen any of those Lynx adverts where hapless young men end up getting chased down...

meat made in space
608 views

It’s meat Jim, but not as we know it

While UTC admittedly has a tough time getting to grips with the whole vegan thing, he nevertheless still...

UTC hiding in a cavity ceiling
605 views

Shoplifting through the roof

Thank you to a keen UTC reader who alerted the old boy to the case of enterprising shoplifter...

UTC in parked car
1299 views

Car sex ‘more popular than ever’

This month’s silly bit of sales pitch dressed as market research comes from commercial vehicle hypermarket Anchor Vans...

Flame grilling the Amazon
1405 views

Burger bites back

Having been an old hippie back in the 60s, UTC can still get quite hot under the heavily...

Buckfast BBQ sauce
1702 views

Nothing says BBQ quite like… Buckie

The veritable icon of Scottish local retailing that is Buckfast Tonic Wine has long been a favourite of...

UTC-branded porn star martini
2274 views

Porn star’s days at M&S numbered

It’s not every day that we get the chance to put the words ‘porn star’ and ‘M&S’ in...

Stuart Broad
2325 views

From Headingley to Putney

Not being a huge fan of rounders, UTC normally lets the Ashes pass him by. That was, however,...

Brussels sprout gin
2635 views

Brussels sprout gin. Just naw.

They say that the older you get the quicker time goes – which partly explains UTC’s difficulty with...