Under The Counter

Small lean-to shed attached to cliff-face
257 views

Inconvenience store

Under The Counter stumbled across the world’s most inconvenient convenience store the other day. He didn’t literally, as...

Moksha
215 views

Mushroom magic

Among his impressive list of ailments, Under The Counter includes insomnia and extreme jitteriness. Mainly because he drinks...

Hot cross buns with only a line on them
248 views

Not cross buns

UTC is not what you’d call religious. Although he religiously buys up dozens of reduced-price chocolate eggs for...

static caravan
269 views

A wafer long?

As a longstanding fan of Tunnock’s Caramel Wafers – what self-respecting Scot isn’t? – UTC was positively thrilled...

Greggs shop
275 views

Greggs factor

After yet another day suffering heavy losses at the bookies, UTC likes to comfort himself with a sausage...

Better Naked Chicken Kyiv
285 views

For better or worse

Many of our readers will be old enough to remember the fall of the Iron Curtain. UTC is...

Shopping basket containing vibrator
287 views

Good vibrations

UTC is no prude, but you’re more likely to find him in a betting shop than a sex...

Scotch pie
186 views

Come pie with me

Britain celebrated National Pie Week last month (7 to 13 March). The event, as ever, was accompanied by...

Toilet roll with sausage roll
332 views

Swap flop

UTC has never been one for home delivery. As long as his aging legs are able to carry...

Dear Ashleigh
430 views

The agony and the ecstasy

Under The Counter knows a thing or two about the German discounters. You could say he’s been to...