“For the shortest month, there’s an awful lot of days in February,” Under The Counter mysteriously commented during a lull in keyboard bashing last month.
He’s not wrong. Asides from the usual raft of Mondays and Tuesdays etc, the month offers – we kid you not – Get Up Day, Dark Chocolate Day, Pancake Day, Home-made Soup Day, Frozen Yogurt Day, and Valentine’s Day.
Not to mention days celebrating inventors, cheddar, radio, innovation, wine, chocolate mints, thinking, toast, Cornish pasties, science, data privacy, and – UTC’s favourite – sticky buns.
The fixture list is so crowded that some days have to double up. February 5, for example, marked both World Nutella Day and Yorkshire Pudding Day. Now there’s a flavour combination even the Auld Boy would be reluctant to try.
Speaking of dodgy flavours, February 9 – or Pizza Day as nobody calls it – saw waste management company Businesswaste.co.uk try to drum up some free publicity by launching a national campaign to have “culinary blasphemy” the Hawaiian pizza “deleted from takeaway menus across the country” and thrown in the bin.
In a press release verging on spittle-soaked Hitlerian rant, BusinessWaste made some interesting points. As spokesperson Mark Hall said: “It’s not even from Hawaii. It’s from Canada, and frankly they should apologise to the United Nations.”
This prompted a UN-style office debate about pizza toppings which ended in farce when someone expressed a preference for the humble Margherita and the ever-thirsty UTC started trying to source tequila and lime juice.
