Spears looking at you

asparagus gin

As far as the auld boy is concerned, there are some things that just shouldn’t be together. Pineapple and pizza, for instance. Whisky and anything that isn’t more whisky. Ant and Dec. You get the idea.

There’s a long list of such abominable pairings but UTC had to add another to it when he learned of a new product launch last month: asparagus gin. Yes, you read that right: asparagus gin.

Now regular readers of this august journal will know that UTC is not a fan of gin. And the only vegetable he consumes on a regular basis is chips. So it doesn’t take an intellectual giant of the stature of, say, Donald Trump, to work out that Hussingtree Gin’s latest bit of asparagus-fuelled NPD will not be appearing in any product-endorsing posts on the auld boy’s Twitter account anytime soon. His pee smells funny enough as it is.

Hats off however to Hussingtree’s resident PR guru who came up with the immortal claim to be “the first Worcestershire-based maker to use world-famous Vale of Evesham asparagus as a botanical”. Which, as firsts go, is not exactly up there with running a four-minute mile or scaling Mount Everest.Under The Counter