Just the Tonic

Cru app: a Buckfast-free zone
Paterson Arran 20% off Fruity and Filling

UTC has been a bit late to the ‘app’ party, only recently having traded up from his Nokia 3310 to a phone that can actually run apps.

Obviously he’s now an avid downloader of all sorts of random nonsense, so picture his wee face when a colleague alerted him to a brand new app he might love called ‘Cru’.

The auld yin’s ears pricked up until he learned that it would help him track the performance of his fine wine portfolio in real time and purchase the market’s most exclusive fine wines through a one-click checkout. It was at this point he realised that his colleague was taking the piss but, fair play, he downloaded it anyway.

Imagine his disappointment when he couldn’t find Buckfast listed anywhere. He also had a go at punting a bottle of Retsina he bought on holiday in Corfu in 1974 – but no joy there either. Call yourself a wine app and you don’t even do Buckie?

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