I smell… pish

Zodiac candles

“Scents and aromas are a powerful thing,” began the press release, somewhat ominously.

If you’ve ever followed UTC into the bog at SLR Towers you’ll know this to be true. However, it turned out the release was punting scented candles and contained many assumptions the auld yin suggested were erroneous. Such as “aromas can become a mirror of your personality”. Or how people “choose candles to reflect their personality traits”.

Having waded through a swamp of what UTC termed “new-age pish”,  he finally got to the point of the release: an online retailer called OnBuy.com had “studied the stars and put together a list of candle scents you should burn based on your zodiac sign”.

And if you ever needed any more evidence for the fact that zodiac signs are indeed a load of new age pish, you need do no more than check out the candle recommended for UTC. (Strawberry Buttercream, if you’re interested). He’s a Libra you see and, according to the release, Libras are “known for their charming and lovable personalities”. In all of his many years on this planet, no-one has ever accused the auld yin of being either charming or loveable. The case for the prosecution rests.Under The Counter