You can’t buy happiness

Woman shopping

UTC is a man of simple tastes. Give him a dram, a comfy pub seat with his back to Sky TV and a copy of the Racing Post and life is pretty much complete. The same, however, cannot be said of his better half.

Many’s a Monday morning at SLR Towers that has been ruined by a colourful rant by the auld yin about how much money Mrs UTC blew in Primark and Poundland that weekend. So you can imagine his reaction when he was sitting reading the latest issue of Psychological Science magazine and came across an article purporting to have found scientific proof that buying things can actually lead to happiness. Researchers allegedly found that people were literally happier when they spent money on things.

If that was true, reasoned the auld yin, the researchers hadn’t bothered to include his missus in the sample because not even the acquisition of a new bri-nylon one-piece jumpsuit from Primark that weekend succeeded in shifting the scowl from her face.

Maybe the researchers were onto something. The mere thought of going and buying something himself – a pint of Tennent’s, an ounce of Golden Virginia – had a remarkable effect on the auld yin’s spirits.

UTC’s spirits were given a further boost when he saw the photo that accompanies this article. It should be noted that this was pulled from a stock image library, and in no way resembles Mrs UTC. No offence, auld yin. Just saying.

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