UTC has always fancied himself as something of a bon viveur, so it was only natural that his ears pricked up when he heard that “the UK’s poshest haggis” was to be served at a Lake District hotel’s Burns supper.
It turns out that the Borrowdale Hotel near Keswick was promising “a night to remember” by serving the traditional Scottish dish on a silver-plated carving trolley worth an estimated £25,000.
This brought out the inner pedant that lurks at the heart of the Auld Yin’s bitter and twisted soul. “A 25 grand carving trolley does not a posh haggis make,” he ranted. “Katie Price turned up to her wedding in a horse-drawn glass carriage and nobody thought she was Cinderella. Except perhaps Peter Andre, god love him.”
He then started scouring the internet for cheap haggis, discovering that you pick up a decent one for less than three quid. He even speculated that the Borrowdale might even be serving Grants Premium Haggis (RSP £1.50) straight out of the tin. This is a particular favourite of SLR’s resident ‘bon viveur’, especially on toast, but it would never be classed as posh – no matter how it was presented.
“And what about the trolley’s white plastic castors?” asked UTC. “Even Katie Price wouldn’t give them house room.”
