For reasons best known to themselves, the good people at MyDatingAdviser.com – a website that offers “trusted dating advice from the experts” – got in touch with Under The Counter the other day.
Not that UTC has any need for dating advice. He’s so ancient, carbon dating would be more appropriate. At any rate, MyDatingAdviser had compiled a list of the UK’s rudest place names, which it felt compelled to share with the Auld Boy.
Butthole Lane, Shitterton and Fannylane are just three of many towns, villages and hamlets it suggested he should visit, presumably as some sort of weird preamble to copping off with some random he’d met on the internet.
What Under The Counter found interesting however, is that almost all the potty-mouthed places on the list don’t benefit from a convenience store. Painstaking research, which involved the Auld Boy scrolling about Google Maps for a good 10 minutes before he nodded off, revealed this glaring anomaly.
It was during this snooze that he dreamt up a plausible reason for this lack of shoppage.
After all, would you fancy popping out for a pint of milk to Londis Lickey End, Wideopen One-Stop, Nisa Willey, Premier Bell End, or Simply Fresh Minge Lane?
