Would you call the cops if a punter entered your store and stripped down to their birthday suit?
That may well depend on their physical appearance, I hear you say. If they looked like Under The Counter, then it’s a definite yes. Some things are meant to never see the light of day, and UTC’s withered frame is most certainly one of them.
Putting any aesthetic arguments aside, however, dialling 999 is pretty much a no brainer if the individual in question first crashes their car into a pole outside the shop (Andrzej made a full recovery, by the way) and then dives naked into the instore aquarium.
Now, don’t panic if you’ve just spent a fortune installing a beer cave; giant fish tanks are not the latest trend in convenience retailing. The store in question is in America, of course, and is a specialist hunting, shooting and fishing outlet.
And what, UTC wondered, is exactly the point of the aquarium? A literally massive footfall driver to be sure, although the Auld Boy mused that it might serve a slightly darker ‘try before you buy’ purpose for shoppers considering a new fishing rod.
At any rate, the poor naked chap, who was clearly having a bad day, spent five minutes doing cannonballs and standing under a waterfall at the Bass Pro Shop in Leeds, Alabama before climbing over the side of the aquarium to fall 20 feet onto a concrete floor.
The resulting concussion ensured the attending polis had their easiest catch of the day.
