100 things UTC hates about lists

dog in a kilt

When Aldi opened its 100th store north of Hadrian’s Wall last month, it published a list of ‘100 things we love about Scotland’.

Now, UTC hates lists almost as much as vegetables and there was plenty in this one to get his anaemic blood boiling.

The usual suspects were all present (kilts, whisky, bagpipes, square sausage, the Proclaimers) topped up with a generous helping of filler material (men in kilts, women in kilts, buskers, Amy McDonald). At least, as the Auld Yin ranted, there was no mention of deep-fried Mars bars. Or Amy McDonald busking, in a kilt.

Predictably, the list sparked a barrage of comments from Scots quick to take the clickbait and point out things Aldi had missed.

With tablet, macaroon bars, macaroni pies, Tunnock’s tea cakes and Irn-Bru all demanded, the old boy wondered why the Scottish government was dragging its heels over junk food legislation so much. Not that he’s in a rush, given his fondness for tablet, macaroon bars, macaroni pies, Tunnock’s tea cakes and Irn-Bru.

He was then shocked to his string vest to discover Aldi had published a follow-up list, which featured – of all things – dogs in kilts. He was so enraged when he found out that deep-fried Mars bars topped the list that he hurled his Proclaimers CD across the room in protest.

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