Barking mad

Baller Chilli Bacon Vodka

The off-trade has done brisk business during the pandemic, with UTC’s local shop in particular selling more Tennent’s and Famous Grouse than it would in less troubled times.

Flavoured spirits have also proved popular with stay-at-home drinkers, leading to an explosion of NPD. UTC freely admits to sampling Smirnoff Mango & Passionfruit Twist and Gordon’s Sicilian Lemon  – all in the name of research, of course.

However, he sprayed the office with Jameson Orange when he heard that independent, London-based Doghouse Distillery has added a Chilli Bacon Vodka to its growing portfolio of “unique spirits”.

Doghouse says its new product innovation is set to disrupt the category with “a first-of-its-kind chilli and bacon combination”.

“There’s a reason nobody has thought to imbue perfectly fine alcohol with the taste of dead pig before,” gagged UTC. “It’s a disgusting notion.”

It didn’t help matters when a well-meaning colleague shared the Chilli Bacon Bloody Mary recipe with him. This, Doghouse advises, should be garnished with a stick of celery and a crispy bacon rasher.

All the Tennent’s and Grouse in the world couldn’t stop UTC’s jitters after that, given his pathological fear of vegetables.

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