You’re not onto plums

Paterson Arran 20% off Fruity and Filling

The reasons why UTC chooses the topics to feature on this esteemed page are many and varied, but never before has the auld yin insisted on running an article entirely because of the caption for a photograph and the name of the man quoted in the release.

That’s why, dear reader, you are being presented with a frankly tedious story about plums. The caption in question, which had UTC in raptures, simply read ‘Plum Dearth’. We’re not entirely sure why he found this so funny. Then again, we’re not entirely sure about much as far as the auld yin goes.

No plums
Plum dearth

We’ll spare you the detail of the piece, other than to say that unfavourable weather conditions this summer have led to a dearth of plums. Apparently, they don’t like fluctuating weather, you see. They like it predictable and steady.

“Plums are a temperamental fruit,” explained the implausibly named Gary Farmer, from Vale Landscape Heritage Trust, a charity that revitalises old orchards.

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