Much gnashing of falsers and colourful language was prompted at SLR Towers last month as UTC received a press release about the latest ‘next big thing’: tree water.
Yes, you read that correctly, tree water. Westlab Group is hoping that it has found the next coconut water and that retailers across the country will flock to its door.
But what exactly is tree water, we hear you ask. Well, it’s water that has been extracted from trees. It comes in many varieties: birch, bamboo and maple, for example – and is naturally low in sugar and calories, as water tends to be.
UTC is currently working on his next big thing: sock juice. Naturally low in preservatives, sugar and sweeteners but high in sweat and toe nail clippings, he reckons it would be a big hit with hipsters.
