Under The Counter is well aware what month this is, but he’s fairly sure the launch of Hera The Dog vodka isn’t an April Fools’ joke.
And if it is, he’s not bothered – brands and businesses with pun-based names are like catnip to the Auld Boy. Hence haircuts at Shearers, and flowers from Florist Gump – if he ever bought Mrs UTC flowers, that is.
To the best of UTC’s knowledge, Hera The Dog isn’t named after Hera the Greek goddess, who was both Zeus’s wife and sister. Ponder that, if you thought our royal family was more inbred than a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
It is, rather, a premium spirit crafted from 100% organic, non-GMO Italian wheat, distilled seven times, and filtered through coconut – yes, coconut, no less – charcoal. Own-brand paint stripper it is not, so you won’t be feeling ruff the morning after.
What’s more, the American brand donates 6% of all sales to fund animal shelters and has raised more than $68,000 to date, which buys a lot of whatever dug meat is called in the US.
UTC is not a dog lover – unless the number on its jacket matches the number on his betting slip. His good lady is more predisposed to canines, however. So, if anyone knows what kind of mutt is in the picture, give the Auld Boy a shout. He’s sure Mrs UTC would love one, if only to make up for all those bouquets she’s missed out on.
