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Toilet roll with sausage roll

UTC has never been one for home delivery. As long as his aging legs are able to carry him, he is more than happy to walk to his local shop and buy six cans of Tennent’s and a half-bottle of Grouse in person.

And so it was that his feeble ticker beat a little bit faster when he discovered home delivery pickers were starting to go rogue.

Consumer group Which? has apparently found that almost two-in-five (39%) shoppers were given an alternative product in their most recent home delivery.

Aldi topped the list for substitutions, with 49% of respondents saying they’d been given a sub. The majority of these were probably fine. However, UTC had nothing but pity for the poor customer who asked for breaded fish fillets but was given a tub of Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food ice cream instead.

It gets better. A bright spark at Sainsbury’s thought a Victoria sponge was a suitable replacement for sponge scourers. “That’s someone who’s never used cake to clean a pot before,” quipped the Auld Boy.

The mults were all as bad as each other. The list of shame was longer than UTC’s repeat prescription and ran the gamut from hen’s eggs for Creme Eggs to sausage rolls for toilet rolls.

The Auld Boy had a word of consolation for the fishless Aldi shopper though. He knows for a fact that ice cream and chips tastes delicious.

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