Words cannot describe the expression on UTC’s face when he learned that Swede Ellinor Persson had won the World Porridge Making Championships.
As if that wasn’t sacrilegious enough, her fellow countryman Per Carlsson picked up the Speciality prize at the Golden Spurtle Awards with his Nordic offering made with oatmeal, cloudberry liqueur, orange peel and whipped cream, topped with flambéed cloudberries and whipped cream.
For the umpteenth time, the auld yin made the point that putting anything other than salt in your porridge is a hanging offence. And if it isn’t, it should be.
He also muttered something about what would happen if Mrs UTC brought him porridge with cloudberries and orange peel in it for his breakfast, before reflecting and admitting that she hasn’t brought him breakfast of any description since 1948.
