If you’re one of those retailers who made a mint flogging Labubu dolls, then Under The Counter may well have stumbled across the next big thing in the Soft Toys For Punters With More Money Than Sense category.
He probably hasn’t. The toys in question are horses made for last month’s Chinese New Year festivities and flogged in the People’s Republic. And they look as happy as UTC did when his beloved Hamilton Accies got pumped 11–1 by Hibs back in the sixties. That’s the 1960s, not the Auld Boy’s sixties; he couldn’t have been a day over 59 back then.
The so-called “crying horses” were the result of a manufacturing mishap which saw some glaikit bunnet with a sewing machine stitch what were meant to be smiles on upside down. The slur ‘bunnet’ is not used lightly here. Chinese New Year soft toys aren’t always red but – unlike the Auld Boy – they’re always smiling.
Long story short – punters loved them and they sold out with a speed usually only witnessed when UTC hears the words: “The buffet is open.”
As you may have twigged, we are now in the Year of the Horse. Having a Horse birth year makes you energetic, independent, popular and adventurous. You probably also like eating sugar lumps and jumping fences.
The Auld Boy swears he is a Tiger, although anyone who has foolishly lent him a fiver would class him a Snake, while those who’ve seen him in action at a buffet would definitely say Pig.
And don’t worry. If you were expecting an off-the-shelf “Why the long face?” gag at some point, your wait is over.
