Under The Counter’s gast was well and truly flabbered when he discovered that Aldi Scotland’s best-selling product of 2025 was none other than the humble banana.
Now, UTC wasn’t expecting dog paddling pools or inflatable movie screens to top the list. Even so, the old coffin dodger didn’t think something he’d only seen in pictures before he was 27 would prove so popular with fellow Scots.
The German discounter flogged more than 15 million edible boomerangs across its 112 Scottish stores last year, which goes to show that our national diet doesn’t consist solely of sweets and biscuits.
Speaking of which, Aldi also shifted six million packets of sweets and 19 million packets of biscuits but come on: focus on the fruit.
Customers also bought over 45 million pints of Scottish milk which, for any Caledonian Cleopatras out there, is enough coo juice to fill 300,000 baths – with plenty left over to wash down the four million Scotch pancakes Aldi sold.
The pancakes – if laid end to end – would stretch from Glasgow to the Isle of Skye. This doesn’t sound that impressive compared to similar “twice round the equator” and “to the moon and back” stats, although UTC doesn’t fancy walking it. Especially yon watery bit across the Sound of Sleat between Mallaig and Armadale.
Using a trolley as a Zimmer, the Auld Boy can just about walk round Aldi to stock up on bananas. He has to; who knew UTC owns a pet monkey?
