Is there anything you can’t use Love Hearts for? Under The Counter doesn’t think so.
Hot on the heels of the news that the retro sweetie can be used to cure heartburn (which UTC tried out in the September 2025 edition), it turns out that you can also take a bath in them.
Now, if you’re thinking the Auld Boy has finally lost the last remaining marble that was rattling round in his senile skull, then think again.
Don’t worry, you don’t need to crush up 50 packets and dissolve them in urine (human or otherwise) – we’ll leave that sort of skincare advice to TikTok – you just need to splash out (pun intended) on the new bath and body range from Rainbow Cosmetics.
Under The Counter would love a new bath; to replace the tin one he’s been using since the Boer War – once a month, whether he needs one or not. He’d also, for obvious reasons, love a new body, but that’s by the by.
The new range includes a Shower Whip, a Sweet Whip Hand Cream, Butter Whip and a Whipped Body Cleanser.
Sadly, this welter of whips stirred unwelcome memories in UTC’s noggin of an ill-advised stag do that came to a calamitous conclusion in a Berlin basement.
Moving swiftly on, the products all carry Love Hearts branding and are similarly scented. Under The Counter isn’t tempted, however. He’s holding out for some Werther’s Original bubble bath.
