Under The Counter was shocked to discover some light-fingered Luigis have looted a lorry loaded with precisely 413,793 units of Nestlé’s new Formula One-themed KitKat bars.
The bold biscuit bandits posed as the polis in what proved to be a chocolate-based version of The Italian Job – forcing the truck into making an unscheduled pit stop after it left a distribution hub near Turin. The driver was later found unharmed, but 12 tonnes of miniature chocolate racing cars remain firmly off-grid.
A fan of the Godfather movies (the first two, at any rate), UTC was quick to point an accusatory non-chocolate-coated finger at the mafia, for no good reason other than the location.
After resisting the temptation to crack a gag about thieves “taking a break” with its chocolate for roughly seven milliseconds, Nestlé warned that the KitKat cars could be veering towards the black market.
With that in mind, it has launched a “Stolen KitKat Tracker” tool where people can enter an eight-digit batch number to check whether their bar is part of the haul. UTC suggests retailers make full use of it – especially if gents in pinstriped suits and fedoras accost them in Costco car park with a confectionery offer they can’t refuse.
Of course, it’s entirely possible that the thieves, like in any good heist movie, plan to render their ill-gotten gains untraceable by melting the bars down. Although disposing of all that leftover wafer sounds problematic.
