High risk of UTC being high risk

Rhoderick Dhu public house

UTC maintains a strong interest in tracking all the various surveys that come out discussing Scotland’s alleged ‘unhealthy relationship with alcohol’, purely for professional purposes obviously.

So he was black affronted when a junior member of the team at SLR Towers laughed at how UTC might be getting a wee phone call shortly, after reading that drinks watchdog The Portman Group announced that “targeted help was needed to tackle the heaviest drinkers in the UK”.

The latest analysis of drinking habits shows that drinking at harmful levels becomes “most prevalent in middle-aged people and in the most deprived areas.” [UTC middle-aged? He wishes! – Ed]

Digging deeper into the story, it turns out that ‘higher risk’ drinkers consume over 50 units of alcohol. When UTC highlighted that even at the Christmas party he only consumed about 40 units, it was quietly pointed out that high risk meant 50 units a week, not a night.

UTC promptly disappeared with a calculator and next appeared about an hour later having spent the time constructively in the The Rhoddie Dhu pub downstairs totting up his weekly intake on the back of a bookie’s slip. Unfortunately, said slip ended up being passed over the counter at the nearest one of William Hill’s fine establishments, so the findings will never be known.

Under The Counter