Under The Counter stopped trying to understand crazes when clackers were a thing back in the 70s (the 1970s not the 1870s, that is).
Rubik’s Cubes, Cabbage Patch Kids, Beanie Babies, loom bands, fidget spinners, Prime energy drinks and Echo Falls Blue Raspberry wine, the Auld Boy has seen them all fly off shelves over the years. And scratched his increasingly baldy napper as to why.
So he wasn’t surprised when he heard squishy buns are now enjoying their 15 minutes of retail fame.
UTC was disappointed to discover these are not the squishy buns he enjoys – the ones that are basically a roll topped with icing and desiccated coconut and filled with fake cream. They are, rather, malleable plastic toys that people enjoy squeezing. The Auld Boy does not enjoy squeezing, although he’s never considered eating fewer cakes and gubbing some fibre instead.
And it’s not just buns: pizzas, cheese, butter, dogs, octopuses and jellyfish are all feeling the squeeze. UTC thinks a squishy jellyfish toy is a proper waste of money; the real thing will happily ooze between your fingers if you press gently.
And, much like Labubu dolls before them, counterfeiters are keen to cash in on the craze. Almost 6,000 fake squishy toys were seized from a Glasgow warehouse last month. Many of these were dumplings – much like anyone who buys one, if you ask the Auld Boy.
Not that he cares. UTC may well be in his twilight years, but he still loves to play with his clackers.
